The Con artist vs the Compassionate

There are many types of con artists in our society some that prey on the greed of a person and some that prey on the compassion of a person. I would like to focus on the latter con. This is because I think it’s a reflection of where our society may be heading or in general the fight between those with a conscience and those without a conscience. Con is short for confidence. They are artists at creating confidence in their victims. I want to  focus on the fact that in our society we all come across this type of con artist. This is not the grifter that plays you at poker, or a pyramid scheme, or even the ones that prey on senior citizens, I’m talking about the kind of person that you may be friends with or may have dated. One that may have duped you and you know you were played but may not have thought them a professional grifter. Because the con way is the way of the future it seems. They are admired by our society and put on a pedestal for they have only taken from one what one has allowed them to take. They cannot go to prison for this for you have willingly allowed them to walk all over you and so no one has sympathy for ones own stupidity seems to be the general consensus on being lied to. They get credit for their work, by those who bust them. To catch a con you have to think like one. So if you have been tricked by a person whom you thought was your friend the people in your own circle will likely look at you as the sucker and the idiot and the victimizer will likely get a chuckle from them. This in my opinion is morally inconceivable and reflects a decline on society as a whole.

So I ask you, if you don’t think like one, how can you know you are being conned?

Here are some life tips to avoid being conned by people you think are your friends.

 

1. sympathy. Cons know you are a trusting and compassionate. They may be friends with you for years and never tried to con you. They keep you in the back burner for when they really need to cash in that chip. This type of person has befriended you for the potential you have to offer them. In the first few years of your friendship they help you out. They always call you up to get in on their success it seems. They want to help you out. This is how they gain your trust. You notice that they are always getting money from other people but you think that they will never do this to you. You think you may be the insider to their ways. These people are pushy and get what they want out of others. Sometimes you may believe that the person they have hustled in the past deserved it. This makes you feel like an insider. For you have unconsciously been led to believe that you are impervious to their scheming ways.

They make the person they conned look like the asshole who deserved what they got or they may act like the victim that finally got the money the other person owed them. Or they might make it look like this person wanted to give them all his money because this person makes you pity them or feel sympathy for them. You go along with the friendship never thinking that one day you will be the one that gets conned. Until you are. This person may always have more problems than you think they should have and they are always crying to you about their life. They may have two or three baby daddy’s and you feel like they have chosen all the worst men to  fall in love with. They may use their children in their con to gain sympathy from those around them. This is when they strike. They are aggressive and make you feel bad that you are not helping them in their need. You may know that they have others that they can use for their cons but now they have come to collect from you. In the years that they have been your friend you have realized that they have been testing you to see how you react to their favors. When you have said no they may have gotten really angry and verbally assaulted you harassed you and made you feel horrible about victimizing them. They may have stopped talking to you for a year and then suddenly ask to be friends again acting sweet and kind again. Working you back into their pocket for later. If you let them back in they know that if they use you for their needs you will agree because you just let them back in after they have shown that if you say no to them you are punished for it. You see that they always have a lot of friends and they may be friends with these people for a long time. So you want to stay friends with them as well. You notice their friends all have one thing in common: they have something to offer this person if the need arises for them to cash in the chips on them too. Usually they use the opposite sex for favors but not always. DO not be fooled. They will use you because they don’t have to prostitute themselves with you, you are even better than those that they manipulate with sex. They get you because you are the type of person that feels bad when people are having a hard time and want to help them in anyway you can. And slowly this person will begin to control you. They want anything you have that they don’t have whether its an apartment or just use you as their whipping toy. They will take your time and money from you, and even your property if they stay with you and turn the laws against you. The main thing you have to look for is that they will know the law and how to use it against people. They know how to go the local courthouse and file paperwork for any time of lawsuit they may come across when screwing people out of money, in order to get out of paying. These people will save text messages in order to use them in civil court. They love having proof in writing. Be smart these types of people use your trust against you. They make it look like they trust you first in order for you to trust in them.

When they decide its time to make the move on you, you may have no idea what they are up to because you are a trusting person and feel bad for them. This is where you are about to get taken. Don’t let it happen test them and see how they respond when you finally say no to them. You have been worked for years at this point so you are afraid to say no to them and when you do say no see how they react, They will most likely react with an aggressive attitude not taking the no for an answer. And turning the tables on you. This is when you have to make the case against them before its too late. You are a trusting person who wants to help those who are in need as you have been helped as well when you were in need, You want to be the type of person who is helping the world not adding to its corruption, but how do you know when to help someone and when to cut them lose? By how they react when you say NO. No is a powerful word for those of us who are compassionate. We want to say yes! The con knows this about our personality and is why they are attracted to us in the first place. They are keen observers and pay attention to the desires and dreams of those they victimize they use these details against us. We will be putty in their hands if we do not test them with a NO and then take note in their reaction. If they apologize for asking and seem embarrassed they are not a con(unless they are using this tactic to gain trust) most likely they will get angry, and try to get you to change your mind. But they may just tell you they will do  whatever they want and not let you set the boundary you were asking. A true friend will respect your bounderies and when told no they will feel embarassed not indignant. The con artist has one thing in common they have a powerful sense of self entitelement. They feel like they deserve the yes response everytime and this is why they will react in this  angry way when told no. People with compassion will try to feel what the other person is feeling and will feel embarassed for overstepping their boundaries. The con knows this and will use this against you as well The con also knows the narcissist personality well, and know to point out when they see them. This does not mean they are not a narcissist; it only proves they have studied the signs as cons are excellent at mirroring their own character flaws and know what to see in others. This person may pay you a lot of attention and act like they have good Intentions with helping you but when they offer help it always seems like they screwed you. You as the compassionate person will think that they had good intentions and not get angry with them for ruining these opportunities for you. All the while the con did these things on purpose and know that you as the compassionate person will not see their true intentions. They are banking on this reaction from you, to continue using you.

A good way to catch the con is by using your compassion against them. Both you and the con have one thing in common: You both pay close attention to other peoples needs. You listen to their stories you remember what they say. You know what they like and don’t like. This is the tactic the con uses to gain trust, while you as the compassionate do so for the genuine interest in others lives. PAY ATTENTION when you notice that while you may be helping them out  and use you with pity they will not have pity on those that ask them for help. Pay attention to see if they slip up and show their true feelings for other people other than themselves. If you catch them admitting that they do not feel compassion for someone in a terrible predicament while taking you for your compassion, GET OUT FAST!

Don’t wait for them to TAKE you. They will never feel compassion like you do, so don’t feel sorry for them. Please one thing us compassionate people have in common and is also not even respected in our society is that we feel sorry for people when they are in a hard place in life. We are not the majority but the minority. The cons are the majority. If you are one of the few compassionate people that are still out there do not get used by the con!

 

 

http://socyberty.com/psychology/five-danger-signals-that-warn-that-you-are-being-manipulated/2/